32 Things I Learned by 32
It’s my birthday today and I’m feeling extra introspective about turning 32. I feared turning 30 but I am embracing 32 - I can’t really explain it. But my 30’s have been a whirlwind. They have given me some of the happiest days of my life while also navigating some of the most difficult. I’ve truly grown so much and learned a lot.
So I thought I would switch things up from the travel content and document some things I have learned over the years.
32 things to be exact.
Everyone is on their own timeline in life
With the age of social media, it’s so hard to not to compare yourself to others. It can feel like everyone is accelerating and you are falling behind, but I’m here to say that’s not the case. You are just on a different timeline than them and that is OKAY! I have friends with older kids, new to motherhood, engaged, single, married with no kids, and friends just trying to figure it out. There’s no timeline to life.
You can’t control what people think about you so who f*cking cares
I know I know, easier said than done. But give it a try, not everyone likes beer and not everyone is going to like you either.
You are a reflection of who you surround yourself with so choose wisely
I have had to learn this a few times over the years. Be careful with who you spend your time with. If they are negative energy, you will catch it and become negative energy too. So make sure your friends carry your same values.
Go to therapy
It may be cliche but that doesn’t make it any less true. Find a good therapist and work on yourself.
Have multiple hobbies, it makes you interesting (no, Pilates doesn’t count)
Girl, ILY but working out cannot be your only hobby. Here are some ideas: reading, pottery, gardening, knitting, baking, photography, painting, learn an instrument, the options are endless here. Hobbies give you depth.
People’s misperception of you and how they treat you is only a reflection of themselves
Look, I know it hurts when people misperceive you but try not to take it personally. If being secure was easy, everyone would do it and the world would be a kinder place. My favorite mantra is “it has everything to do with them, nothing to do with you.” And that’s the truth, they are just projecting onto you. So repeat it in these situations.
You WILL be okay after a heartbreak!!
Oh boy did I learn this one this past year. It feels impossible to pick yourself up and move on. Slowly but surely, taking it day by day, time will pass and you will survive it. Even when it doesn’t feel like it.
It’s not my job to teach people how to be a good friend or a good partner. And it isn’t yours either
My good friend Victoria taught me this. She said “it’s not my job to teach people how to be a good friend.” And I’ve never forgotten it. Communicate your feelings but do NOT keep going back if this person can not figure out how to be a good friend or partner.
Nobody is thinking about you as much as you are thinking about you. They are too busy thinking about themselves.
It’s easy to overthink things and worry about what people think of you. But honestly, no one is thinking about you that much. I promise. Let it go.
Use the library, it’s free
Do I need to even explain this one? Go read a book!
Don’t be the person who asks ‘so what do you for work’ at every social setting. Be more interesting than that!!!
This is probably one of my biggest pet peeve’s. Everyone’s go-to is to ask what people do for work and tbh, work is not that interesting. No one wants to work 40-50 hours a week then talk about it when they are socializing. It’s surface level so I challenge you to ask more interesting questions. Like… FMK: Taco Bell, Chick-Fil-A, McDonalds.
Eat healthy but also eat pizza
Life’s about balance. A piece of pizza or whatever your guilty pleasure is, isn’t going to kill you every once in awhile.
Dress up!!! it gives you confidence
Yes, activewear is in. But people don’t dress up anymore. Dress the f up! Look good, feel good.
Try new things
When we get to a certain age, we get comfortable and stop trying new things. I’m not sure why! So go try some new things and learn some new skills.
Book the trip, don’t postpone it or you’ll never go on it
It’s easy to say “I don’t have time” or “I’ll go there eventually” then time passes us by and guess what? We still haven’t gone to the place - shocker. So just book it, stop making excuses, and figure out the details later!
Leave your freaking hometown
This is the most important lesson. Go live somewhere else for a little, you can always come back. But it’s good to see what else is out there and learn something other than where you are from.
Workout not to look good but feel good
I don’t workout to look a certain way anymore, I workout because it makes me feel good and it’s beneficial for my health. Being active is important for longeitivy and I want to live as long as I can lol.
Go do things by yourself
You can do it. Don’t not go do something or eat somewhere just because no one will go with you. If I did that, I wouldn’t have half the experiences I have had in the past few years.
Ditch your insecure friends, they will never have your best interest because they’re too busy prioritizing their insecurities
I literally always say that insecure friends are the most dangerous. Because they aren’t secure with themselves, they will subconsciously (or consciously) sabotage you. I know it seems harsh but I have unfortunately experienced this many times which is why I feel so strongly about it. Just revert back to #6, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
It’s never too late to change your career - even if it might be hard
I think I’m learning this one right now. As I start this blog and have it take off and think about my life in corporate America, I’m realizing you can have multiple careers. It might be a lot of work but it’s never too late.
Marriage/kids/a house aren’t the only milestones to celebrate
I preach this a lot. Our society has taught us that these are the most important milestones to aspire to. And if you don’t complete these, then your life is not as meaningful. It’s just not true. Celebrations also include: getting a new job or promotion, starting a business, leaving a toxic relationship, moving to another city, overcoming a heartbreak. Good friends will celebrate you as much as you celebrate them, I promise.
Invest! & learn how to manage your money early
Wow I wish I learned this early. I just felt like the information was never available or I didn’t understand it. But it’s so crucial to learn where your money is going and where to put it so you can build wealth.
People are in your life for a reason, season, or lifetime so put them in the appropriate category and keep it moving
Not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever. That would be impossible to manage. So if people fluctuate, that’s okay - just try to learn something from it and don’t dwell on what wasn’t meant to be.
Everyone’s busy - it’s not an excuse
Look, everyone is busy. We pride ourselves on being busy but we make time for the things that are important to us. It’s not an excuse, you will make time for the things and people that matter to you and so will they.
Surround yourself with friends who fill your cup, not empty it
A low-battery phone is of no use to you and the same goes for you. You should feel fulfilled when you leave your friends. If you are feeling drained, it’s time to re-evaluate who you are spending your time with.
De-center men from your life
Shout out to Giggly Squad for this one. But it stands true, your world can not revolve around men. The men in your life should be bringing something to the table that adds value. They shouldn’t be at the center of it.
Live in the uncomfortable (that one is from my therapist)
She tells me this all the thing because it turns out I’m really bad at this. But is anyone? Try to sit in uncomfortable feelings before you make reactive decisions and see what happens.
If it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no
I heard this on a podcast and think it applies to a lot of things in life. If you’re not super excited about something or someone, then it’s most likely a no. There’s a fine balance because I do believe in new experiences but I think that you should be excited about the majority of things you do in your life.
Time is currency, watch where you spend it
Your time = your money. That includes people, events, where you spend your thoughts, how much time you spend talking about something. Be careful where you’re spending it because at the end of the day, it’s your time and your money. Don’t waste it on people who don’t matter.
You cannot change what you can not control
As someone who loves to have control over most things, I have been learning this for a few years. You can feel the feels but if it’s out of your control, there’s not much you can do about it. So remember what I just said, watch where you spend your time.
Be careful who you seek advice from
You do not need advice from everyone and you do not owe everyone an explanation. Also something I am still trying to learn.
Time management is a skill you need to learn ASAP
Ah, this one is a still a work in progress. But once I have it mastered, it’s over for you bitches. Seriously, this is such an important skill to learn so you can keep your life well maintained and also make time for relaxing/recharging. If you have any tips though, let me know
And that about sums it up. All the things I have learned so far. I’m not a therapist or anything but I like to reflect and think deeply about life. So maybe one of these things resonated with you. <3
